So today we celebrated Stacey being done with her viva (oral defense of her/our art project) by going to Jamie's Italian restaurant. Jamie Oliver has a bunch of restaurants in London all with locally sourced and sustainable ingredients. We like him because of his passion for food and education and changing the way people eat and his Italian restaurant makes a mean bolognese. Gryffin likes the free-range beef burger and the breadsticks so the whole family is happy. It is likely we will eat out more since cooking becomes a challenge the closer we get to our move date (3 days until the furniture goes and 5 days 'til the airplane leaves) so we will try to make those meals as nourishing as we can.
On another note, Stacey and I had a very interesting discussion today about having a queer marriage. We are very comfortable and confident with our sexual identities and with our relationship and we interact with the world as if it is a place that accepts us and thinks we're normal. I think that's a good thing. I think the more people, both queer and straight that project that confidence and give that energy out, the closer the world will be to that actuality. Also, I have no interest in holding any negativity and homophobia in my being...if my saying the words “my wife” causes a reaction, I really feel that is the other person's problem, not mine. I can still respect them as a human being and I assume they can do the same for me. And as I said, I think this attitude has served us well. (And yes, we are both aware of how privileged we are to live in places where we don't feel our lives are at stake and to have such supportive family and friends – we do not take that for granted.)
That being said, I am wondering, though, if sometimes it isn't a little naïve not to take into account the reality that we may be the first/only lesbian married couple with kid people have met. I wonder if people feel a little shy and as if they don't know how to interact with us and get to know us without using the wrong terms and possibly offending. I was thinking about the many women I see here in full burkas. I feel hesitant to talk to these women because I don't want to cross some cultural boundary and I feel I may already be offending them just with the clothes I wear. And yet I would love to talk to someone of that culture and feel free to ask questions and have a meaningful dialogue and I am sure there are those who would forgive me my ignorance and grant me a little leeway. I wonder how much this issue has affected our difficulties finding community in various places.
I am curious as to what others think of this. I am not sure how to make ourselves more accessible to those who would love to reach out but don't know how. So I am asking our little online community here – any thoughts? Does this resonate with you at all? Have you been dying to connect with us (or someone else) in some way but have been too shy/unsure/whatever to do it? Now's your chance. Be brave. And the next time I see those women on the playground I will go over and say hello.
On another note, Stacey and I had a very interesting discussion today about having a queer marriage. We are very comfortable and confident with our sexual identities and with our relationship and we interact with the world as if it is a place that accepts us and thinks we're normal. I think that's a good thing. I think the more people, both queer and straight that project that confidence and give that energy out, the closer the world will be to that actuality. Also, I have no interest in holding any negativity and homophobia in my being...if my saying the words “my wife” causes a reaction, I really feel that is the other person's problem, not mine. I can still respect them as a human being and I assume they can do the same for me. And as I said, I think this attitude has served us well. (And yes, we are both aware of how privileged we are to live in places where we don't feel our lives are at stake and to have such supportive family and friends – we do not take that for granted.)
That being said, I am wondering, though, if sometimes it isn't a little naïve not to take into account the reality that we may be the first/only lesbian married couple with kid people have met. I wonder if people feel a little shy and as if they don't know how to interact with us and get to know us without using the wrong terms and possibly offending. I was thinking about the many women I see here in full burkas. I feel hesitant to talk to these women because I don't want to cross some cultural boundary and I feel I may already be offending them just with the clothes I wear. And yet I would love to talk to someone of that culture and feel free to ask questions and have a meaningful dialogue and I am sure there are those who would forgive me my ignorance and grant me a little leeway. I wonder how much this issue has affected our difficulties finding community in various places.
I am curious as to what others think of this. I am not sure how to make ourselves more accessible to those who would love to reach out but don't know how. So I am asking our little online community here – any thoughts? Does this resonate with you at all? Have you been dying to connect with us (or someone else) in some way but have been too shy/unsure/whatever to do it? Now's your chance. Be brave. And the next time I see those women on the playground I will go over and say hello.
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